Losing control, I need to let go (2)

[SH_]

No I don't want a divorce but I also didn't want my M to end in the first place, none of this whole process has been about what I want.

I know my mind and I honestly don't think I can carry on with living my life without seeking closure first. If my W is sure it's over and she is happy to D then that, for me, is all the closure I need.

KyleR,

I won't waste your time saying what has already been said.
Plenty of LBS telling you real life advice.
If you need more, please check out some other threads.
I have read several LBS that regret running straight to filing the D even when they did not want it.
Now they carry the guilt of that on top pf the rest of the pain.
MWD just sent out an email titled Divorce is forever.
It describes the pain that goes on with family members forever.
Do you want the weight of that on your shoulders?
Divorce is not a way to get closure.
It is not an escape from the pain.
It is not a decision that should be made from an emotional standpoint.
Google "things you should know/consider before divorce.
All that I have read, state that an important rule is to never file for divorce as an emotional decision.

You are emotionally injured.

Take this example of a physical injury and tell us what you would do.

If you were to break your arm, and then get an infection in it what would you do?
Would you see a doctor?
Seek medical advice?
Have the bone set back in place?
Try meds that can heal the infection?
Do the physical therapy needed to strengthen the arm?
Rest and get yourself back together?
Listen to others that have gone through the same thing as you are?
Would you seek a second opinion if the doc says they can not save the arm and you should amputate it?
Would you listen to family members and friends that want to see your pain end and tell you to amputate?
Would you simply cut off the arm so you could have closure and end the pain?
Except that the pain would not end, because you would be missing an arm, phantom pains will happen, and regret can set in, if you started to think you could have done more to save the arm.
Or will you fight for that arm and do everything in your power to heal and know that the cards will fall where they may and you will be okay.

I know you get the point here.

I will ask again.
Which path will you choose?
KyleR it is past time for you to listen up and get yourself together. Your daughter needs you to man up. Your future you, needs you to man up. Take back the power from your WAW through owning your emotions, actions, thoughts and behaviors.
Read back through your thread. Would you be attracted to you? Will your future self be proud of you if you up to this point?

Will you heed the advice and feedback you have been provided by so many in this community?

Do what you gotta do, but take a moment to be sure that your future self will be proud of your decisions and actions. You owe it to yourself and your daughter.

You will do what you need to do, but I hope and pray it is the right thing for you and your family my friend. I will no longer try to convince you that you are reeling now and your thoughts and actions thus far will only bring more pain. There are enough examples of that in this community. Don't add to those examples. But do what you gotta do. I wish you the best.