Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo 2

[Phoebe]

The grief recovery counseling really was/is emotionally demanding, but I feel like I learned a lot and it was absolutely worthwhile to me. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Today was a really good day. Ice skating was fun and I'm remembering my muscle memory a little more each time. I'm back to being able to cross over, as long as I do it carefully. I haven't fallen since my first day. Hopefully I'll be back soon to the point where crossing over is nothing and I can do it equally well while skating forward or backward. For now I'm just going really slowly. My friend showed up partway through, so I had a good time talking to her, both while skating and then for a while afterward.

My dentist is wonderful, so the visit was good. He already knew what happened with H and he gave me a pep talk filled with all kinds of kindness, told me how glad he was to know me and even said he loved me and admired me. I think perhaps I am a bit like a daughter to him, as he has three girls. He takes care of my whole family and I've been going to him for at least 15 years. We've shared building stories over the years, and I advise him in his dog. It's really nice to know that so many people really do care about me.

After all the nice words and encouragement, he stopped, looked me in the eyes, and told me I needed to start eating because I am as skinny as a rail. : )

I knew that was coming!!! I'm used to looking at myself at this weight now, but he hasn't seen me in 6 months, so I could tell he was taken aback.

I have completely embraced my weight loss now. I'm mostly stable, and it is really fun to go to thrift stores these days. Tonight was my WW meeting and social with my Mom and we hit the Salvation Army where I found a bunch of great things today. I was thrilled. So many times I come out of there with nothing. I got three pair of Gap jeans that fit wonderfully and are in awesome shape for 3 bucks each (1/2 price tag)! I got a few shirts, some shorts, and a denim jacket and Amercan Eagle zippered hoodie that were also 1/2 price, AND I had a coupon to save $7 if I spent $25. Between my mom and I, we used two coupons. It was super fun and I'm all excited to have gotten so much for so little. I'm a huge fan of cheapie thrift shopping.

I really enjoy my Thursdays with my Mom. I think it's good for both of us and it's been our weekly thing for nearly 3 years now.

So a good day, and as I told my therapist on Monday, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. Other people are noticing it, too. My dentist said that I am blossoming, which was sweet, but I keep hearing from people that I seem a lot better to them. I am.

The roller coaster is always rolling, and I know there will be more tough days ahead, but I in a healing and happy stretch of the ride right now.

I hope that everyone has had a healing day, too.