My wife walked out 2

[RSG]

Her feelings change, don't believe what she says.. Your happier, that makes her feel less guilty, that makes it easier for her.. Don't read into any of it. She's with OM, nothing she says or does matters until that ends.

Just keep working on you RSG, focus on you and your S..

I asked explicitly if she's seeing that person and she said no. Do you think that's a lie?

[MoveFrwd]

Her feelings change, don't believe what she says.. Your happier, that makes her feel less guilty, that makes it easier for her.. Don't read into any of it. She's with OM, nothing she says or does matters until that ends.

Just keep working on you RSG, focus on you and your S..

I asked explicitly if she's seeing that person and she said no. Do you think that's a lie?

Did it come out of her mouth?

[RSG]

Her feelings change, don't believe what she says.. Your happier, that makes her feel less guilty, that makes it easier for her.. Don't read into any of it. She's with OM, nothing she says or does matters until that ends.

Just keep working on you RSG, focus on you and your S..

I asked explicitly if she's seeing that person and she said no. Do you think that's a lie?

Did it come out of her mouth?

lol. I read that 5 times before I finally got it!

[Ginger1]

My small bit of advice as a "vet" on here.....
Don't try to punish your W through your children. If you kids want to FaceTime, let them.

[Coconut]

5 times??? You still got some work to do buddy, lol... In all seriousness, you don't want her back unless she is truly remorseful and she is 100% committed, trust me when I say piecing is tough and if you aren't completely convinced you will end up walking away.. Let it be tough for her, let her make the decision that you and your S is what she wants, let her work to convince you... Stop worrying if it will happen, just keep doing you and your S. If she doesn't really really really want it, it won't work, because you won't believe it...

I agree with ginger, don't punish her, don't even worry about her or her feelings, just do you. Don't make your decisions based on how she will react, just focus on you. You will know if/when she has truly changed, then you will get to decide. Don't make the mistake I made, don't make it easy because it's what you wanted, because what you wanted will change.

[RSG]

My small bit of advice as a "vet" on here.....
Don't try to punish your W through your children. If you kids want to FaceTime, let them.

I could never say NO to my S. That said, he's too immature to say "I want to FaceTime Mommy." I'm probably going to continue FaceTiming though, because he deserves to see his parents before bed.

[RSG]

To be fair, I was still in the clouds AND was getting S ready for bed lol.


Thanks for the encouragement. You're right, when she spoke it was English but it felt like I was trying to translate Japanese. All I could process was a bunch of nonsense.

She kept saying she cares about S, and a divorce won't affect him because other kids do it. That screamed rationalizing and I was POed she'd try to use S like that. She hasn't changed, and I see that. I guess I hear what you're saying. If she were telling the truth, I'd see or hear a change....

Tomorrow little guy and I will finish off the week with some pool time!!

[RSG]

I'm brooding with such anger since last night. I've never felt like this before. My phone bill had an extra charge from her old account, I let her know and included a comment about moving to his account. She said it was just the icloud for music as if that makes it better. Anyway, she said "I'm only talking to you about S" and I said "you're not sorry at all." She caved saying she's tapped out and that I had every right to be upset, and I told her I'm angry, I don't understand my emotions, I don't know what I feel. Wrong thing to say? Probably, but I had to get it out. And it's the truth.

My heart is like an hourglass I guess. Every moment, another grain falls and when something sets me off a heap comes down. How can a person feel love, hate, abandonment, betrayal, sadness, sympathy, hope AND hopelessness at the same time??

Ugh. I'm going to have a good weekend with my boy and try to clear my head. He's my precious angel and I can't wait rain my love on him!!

[cbtdad]

RSG I know it [censored]!!
I've been there and its a terrible place to be. Don't let the anger consume your thoughts. You can't control how you feel, but you can control how you react right?
Every situation is different. My situation has become an interesting one because I am having to have a lot more patience than I realized I had.
Now here come the 2x4! LOL
You need to detach!!!! It is clear as day that everything you do is for her and that anything she does gets reaction out of you, good or bad.
The problem with that is that even though you think you are living your life and moving forward, you really aren't.
What are you going to do when she is gone? What are you going to do if there is no W and it's just you and S?
I know these are tough questions, but you need to realize that you need to be happy for you.
I think one of the things all LBH have in common is that they became very co-dependent on their spouses. That is why detaching is so difficult, but so critical.

Hang in there!

[RSG]

Thanks man. I took S to the pool, and my anger has dissipated. We had fun, but he really just wanted to play by himself lol. Jump in the pool, swim out, repeat. 100 times!
Now he's eating some pasta and watching Bubble Guppies before bed. He's so therapeutic!

WW called to say goodnight, rather than Facetime, while she was at the Apple Store. She says. Anyway, he didn't really pay her much attention but said bye bye and then she asked for a few pictures tomorrow. We're going to play at Monkey Joe's in the morning, and I'll post those to Facebook. I may send her a couple bland ones at home. She also mentioned she'd bring my father's day present when she comes to pick him up Sunday. "I hope it's not f-ed up." (She's always had a potty mouth. I used to accept it, but now....)

As for your advice. I felt like I was doing pretty well, and then just got sucked into a little hope. It was a complete disaster, and then I found BS in my house among my child's artwork. And I blew. I gotta remember: S and I. I'm making myself a great, not good man. And if she wants to throw that away for trash that's on her. I can find someone who appreciates me, I don't need her to be happy!!

Oh, and it's a marathon. I was going to tell her to go to the pool Sunday, but I would walk the dog, go clothes shopping and hit Costco rather than spend any time with them at the pool.