Hi IP, I'm so sorry for not checking on you earlier. Reading your posts reminds me of my situation. You are doing an incredible job and being a single mother isn't easy. You are amazing and stronger than you think.

It's obvious that your brain (like mine few months ago), plays with your emotions. I'm so sorry for that. Our situation were similar ( I use were because now I have my own place, it has changed) due to the fact that H still comes and stays in marital home, then leave.

I can only talk about my experience and how I feel. Like you I was crying a lot, over analysing things and this would drive me bunkers! We never wanted our kids to be put in this situation, nevertheless we have to make dos about it. How often is your H coming round? If it's everyday, would you consider to change it to every other day? I'm telling you this because seeing H so often is what kept my heart bleeding as I was thinking if he comes round is that he still feels something for me! I'm afraid not, he was doing it not to look bad with kids, and he could look good with OW!

After a year I started slowly to rediscover myself because I didn't have as much contact as I used to with H. The day he was coming into marital home I'd be a wreck, but the days he wasn't coming I wasn't crying and started to feel good about myself!

TBH not being in marital home is such a relief! I wasn't even sad when I took my keys to estate agent last week! I don't see H as much now and I'm good. There are the few odds day were I'm like: why this happened to me?.

I can't tell you what to do with your H, so I'm just sharing what worked for me. You need to look after yourself first and if seeing H so regularly is rubbing salt in your wound, you need to attend to it. I know you are going to tell me that if you reduce contact with H, R will never happen.

Please look at your situation, what worse could happen? Our H left us, they seem to get on with their life and not showing any pain. Whereas we are the one broken, crying and in pain. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT! You deserve to see your wound healing and to have a beautiful smile on your beautiful face!

For the time being our H are gone,the pain will gradually heal but you need to put some distance between you and your H, otherwise you won't heal.

I know my situation is different now because I have my own place, but I can tell you that limited contact with H is helping me to heal faster.

Please look after yourself, sending you loads of hugs xx