Hey DDJ, hope you and your son are doing as well as you can.
I hear what you are saying but it's more about my own impatience and journaling that you are reading. Having learnt so much from here and books etc, and wanting to 'fix' it. I do know that's not my job now, my job is just working on me and looking after the kids. I was one of those that would do anything for my W, did all the things she didn't like to do, but then got to the point of being burnt out and not being there in other ways. It's also more of a frustration with my own mindset to sacrifice my own feelings to try and put his right, again something that I have been guilty of in the past. My IC has helped me a lot and I see the parts of me that were broken. Seeing the influences my own parents divorce had on my upbringing and some of those traits I have brought into my relationship.
A very controlling and argumentative mother and an absent father. Probably should have had help sooner, (something my W wanted me to do), but I didn't and here I am. It's a shame that it took this to really soul search myself. I know it's all talked about how woman want a strong man etc, and normally I am but sometimes life burns us out. Building a house in a foreign country, starting a new job again, fighting to get a better one but working the job and the house. I was just done, I have learnt that I was mentally, physically and emotionally broken. Add that on to W saying she almost had an affair, then not cutting contact with him at work. I guess it was just a matter of time till we tore ourselves apart.
The worst bit, W complains about how our arguments were affecting the kids, my S was doing better in school during that period than he is now... Go figure.
