This might throw some people for a loop, but I believe good people can make bad mistakes. I am not going to minimize what your W did, Coconut, but she had a 3 week flirtation with a coworker with some kissing. Big mistake, which has some awful trust consequences for you. There are many cheating cheating spouses who aren't such good people, had some pretty serious deceiving affairs and feel no remorse. (like my ex). Then there are some spouses who make a stupid mistake and really regret it and want to save their M. Never even wanted a divorce, never wanted to leave, just messed up big time.
I really think you W may fall in that category. Good person who made a bad mistake. Again, I am not minimizing this.
My point is, say you say you just can't handle this anymore more with her. Are you going to trust the next woman anymore? Are you going to want to affair proof that relationship too? Because I can guarantee any new woman will say "peace out, he says I can't have snap chat? who the F is he?" or " he wants a text everywhere I go?"
I really think this kind of controlling might leak over to the next R.
You said it yourself, you have no doubt she is in it for the long run, so keep reminding yourself of that.
