Sorry to hear coconut. You're going to drive yourself insane, or into another car from lack of sleep.
I don't think that you can affair proof a R. You can only trust with all of you or nothing at all really. That is a choice though. So close your eyes, accept the things that you cannot change and either trust or don't.
You cannot sit in limbo.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
