Zues, How about a change of terminology? At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, for me, I would describe divorce as a rape. By the x, by the TP, by anyone who chooses to minimise the impact of D and who keeps telling kid and me to svck it up. (Btw, I was a victim of abuse by a stranger when I was young so I understand the pain all too well.)
I agree with you that in this era of being politically correct, the moral and societal impact of D has been diminished. Sometimes, it seems that A and D are celebrated as the rights of individuals to seek their personal freedom and anyone who dares speak up against them are weaklings, spiteful people who cannot let go.
The aftermath of A and D are swept under the rug and blamed on inept coping abilities of those left behind. And the pressure is on the those left behind to abide by the unwritten code of svck it up and stfu. In this age of pretty instagrams and happy chirpy tweets, no one wants to see unhappiness and pain. There seems to be a tacit blame on those left behind. And people don't seem to understand that there's no such thing as sitting on the fence- by keeping quieting, you are enabling the perpetrators.
I get why you say that D is a permanent crippling. It can be physical and it can be mental or it can be both and so much more. It truly changes life for good.
But like what you say, life is what you make of it after being crippled. We can still survive and thrive. But just because we can survive and thrive after the abominations, doesn't minimise or diminish the fact that D is devastating.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Zeus, if I was a guy, and wasn't a woman who is the same age as you, I'd really enjoy talking to you over a cup of coffee, as a friend.
Ginger, as a woman old enough to be big sister if not his mother outright, I'd love to sit and have coffee with him as a friend. Apparently will never happen.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
