Lost in Fangorn Forest

[Zues126]

You are not going to believe this, Zeus, but I was just like you, in the first 2 or so years. I felt as if My life wasn't permanently crippled by the divorce, then that mean divorce and affairs are acceptable and not the most awful thing in the world! So my life simply had to be crippled else it would minimize the severity of what they did.

But boy was that exhausting! And my life wasn't crippled! I have scars, I have suffered some, but I was not going to give divorce the power to cripple my life. Nor was I going to do it because I was afraid if I came out okay, or perhaps even better, it would minimize the impact of divorce.

I decided I didn't want to end up like wonka's stepmom . Nor did I want to end up like my mom, dead. My mother was mentally ill woman. But when my dad left, she went off the deep end and killed herself a few years later. It did cripple her because she was not equipped to handle it.

The loss only cripples you if you let it.

I can see that you understand how I feel, and I appreciate that.

I can accept the possibility that this is a stage I have to grow through, or fail to grow through. What changed your point of view?

I get that you are in a different spot now. But did you do anything to get there, or did it happen little by little on it's own? I'd imagine it was time passing, letting things go at your own pace as you realized they didn't help you, etc.

Also, I really liked your post about letting go of compulsive personal growth. That really resonated with me. And if I recall correctly, you might have also posted about being a little slow to look for another R right now. That is where I am at as well. What am I missing that needs to happen right now? I just feel like everything is fine, never been better, and I have nothing but time to keep on my path.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to post on my own thread, of course doing so will generate differing views and opinions which I'll admit I may not always let get past my rigid viewpoints. I keep coming back to the fact that people keep debating these points, and bumping my thread for updates. And it is nice to talk about what's on my mind here. I appreciate you caring, so as long as no one is offended by my disagreements I'm happy to continue to discuss, and it could certainly be helping me down the path I'm on. So thank you all for your patience and feedback!