Did Not See It

[RDS]

Just as I figured my W has "hired" one of her lawyer friends to be her ATTY to settle the spousal support and the settlement paperwork for the D if there is one. If there are sticking points I will be at a disadvantage because I can't afford to prolong anything while my W will have a semi-free ATTY to help her out. My wife can barter her services to her ATTY and the ATTY is semi-retired so she isn’t in it for the money anymore. Well, as much as an ATTY can’t be involved for money.

So I was bummed out today because now I’m thinking of nothing but my financial situation and the idea I really could lose my W. I don’t want to pay my W anything while we are separated, but if I’m ordered to pay her some kind of support I will (obviously). I just don’t want to get raked over the coals while we are separated. Since we’ve been married so long I know I’m going to lose a lot in the divorce and my long term plans will be up in smoke. I also couldn't think straight because my tooth was hurting.

I had a root canal this afternoon and I texted my wife that I was glad we had the Care Card to pay for my root canal. She asked how much it cost and I told her. I then asked her how it gets paid since there are now technically 3 different balances on the card. She called and we went over everything. Just like yesterday it was a very cordial and entertaining talk and there was no talk of our R at all. The only talk about my future was when a couple of things about the house came up and I said I was not making any long term plans about the house.

Towards the end of the conversation she did say she hoped my tooth felt better and I inadvertently told her I did too because I was going to a new social group tonight. I could hear and almost feel her being taken aback. I also told her I was going to another social group Friday. When she gathered her composure she said she was happy for me. I also told her I was going to counseling. She then responded that we should have gone to MC before and I told her this wasn’t MC but IC to work on my issues. I told her not to think less of me. She told me she won’t and repeated she was happy for me.

As I am writing this I just got a text from her and she repeated she doesn’t think less of me but in fact she is more proud of me.

At least she knows that is one way I’m bettering myself. Was it a bad idea to let her know I was going to IC?