Working on me and letting it play out

[Coconut]

Reinvigorating your sex life is something she needs to decide she wants to do, and getting there requires starting slowly with some building up to it. It's all about her mindset however. If she's not committed to it thinking that it's the best thing for both of you, you'll know and you won't be satisfied.

Acc

Just wanted to give my 2 cents on this, since I just went through it in the last two weeks. I asked my W where she was emotionally 2 or 3 times as far as being intimate (although we where touching non sexually at the time, which is further along than u are right now). She didn't get upset about me asking, but really couldn't answer, she could only say that she's getting closer (but who really knows how long it takes).

Anyway, about a week went by after the last conversation about it, and I started upping my game, rubbing a little more and did what I knew would turn her on physically and we had physical intamicy without the emotional attachment. I knew the emotional wasn't there and it did concern me a little afterwards, but I was satisfied (PT my LL as well). I then preceded to repeat that initiation for the next four days, my W nvr gave any negative feedback afterwards, and although I knew the emotional still wasn't there for her, I made sure the physical pleasure was, and we both enjoyed it and I was very satisfied. I did make inside jokes about it, sent funny memes about morning sex, etc., trying to make it lighthearted.

Anyway, I stopped initiating and went back to non sexual touching for the last 4 days, because I don't want her to feel pressured into satisfying my needs, but those few days filled my cup and allow me to try and fill her needs without torturing myself. I think it's good we got the awkward first time out of the way, and if I can hold out until she's emotionally ready I think it will be mind blowing next time.

CBT, have you discussed moving back into the MBR, or is that not something your ready for yet? Have you tried initiating non-sexual touching to see how she responds? I find a back rub while watching tv in the bedroom was very well received when I first attempted.