The no contact rule has exceptions. If you have kids, like I do, it's ok to talk about them and to have minimum contact, which I am allowed to do. Other than that I would pretty much not contact her and if she contacts you, I would keep the talking short with short sentences like "Yeah, that's fine, I gotta go", "No problem, let's talk about it another time". You are going to give two opposite messages at two opposite times. By your actions you will be saying "I don't need you" and at opposite times you will be telling everyone else, especially your kids "She is a great person".
