Listening with my eyes, detaching with my heart

[dazedboy]

Ladies, as hard to believe as it might, I DO ACTUALLY WORK!! But right now I'm between appointments so the doctor is in!! Or can I be The Love Pirate

debcb asked :

Sometimes though, it is "just sex"; what makes the difference for a guy from wanting one or the other??????

Recreation, and of course it feels good. I can’t believe you ladies just want sex only for the emotional connection. There is a mental bonding that happenes even with quickies. Intercourse and foreplay make me feel alive and young. It feeds the desire all men have to be needed and wanted. This is such an intimate acceptance of a man.

Sometimes sex is more intense yet also more intimate, more of a ML experience, after some of our heated discussions....day before valentines and last Thursday night come to mind....Why would this be?

I call this the ‘After fight sex rush.’ The adrenaline is pumping for the fight or flight reflex, and just intensifies things. The release of the pent up frustration/anger plus the reward of sex and bonding heighten my orgasms.

Something else I wonder about: within the last 2 months, H is just absolutely "wiped out" after ML (but not so much after "just sex")....he will even say "I can hardly move"....sometimes he will actually drift off to sleep while he's holding me....I don't remember him being like this before, except I think maybe when we were 1st married. causes this? is it something emotional, or is there a physical difference, or a combination, or just "old age"?

There is a physical release of hormones which I think are serotonin / melatonin, but I don’t remember for sure which send us into a VERY relaxed state. I would take this as the best compliment.

The buildup of fluids in a man's prostate actually is uncomfortable and a man feels the drive to release. This is one reason why they masturbate, as a physical release.

While this is partly true, the body has a way of releasing seminal fluids without coaxing. This is what wet dreams are, an ejaculation caused by a dream. Also certain medications will cause them and I found (unfortunately forced to find out ) sometimes after long periods of no sexual activity, with or without W, I will ejaculate after urination without prompting.

The specific term you’re referring to is blue balls. Without a release of the seminal fluid, the testicles will grow enlarged and become VERY sensitive. This happened to me more when I was younger, after heavy petting with girlfriends etc., when I was trying to control the amount of masturbating I would do.

My wife used to think when we first got married that every time I had an erection, we’d have to have sex otherwise it would not go down. If that were true, I’d have never made it through junior high. I’d get an erection if the wind would blow the right way.