Working on me and letting it play out

[Surfer]

Cbt

One thing that helped me in MC was saying little. The MC usually spends time talking to the person with issues the most. It was '95% WAW time' at our sessions. I found this a comfort it felt like the MC was helping me to win her back and I could simply listen. It also made me realise I was not the problem in the way she was trying to make out/gas light. That stopped me getting wound up when she was machine gunning me too with 'he never, he always' type stuff.

Don't forget to focus and don't vilify your spouse. She is a person that has suffered because she has legitimate needs that have not been met (in her mind at very least) and has felt very alone. Perhaps even think of her as a child and being scared that can help to stop your blood boiling too. Good luck - you'll knock it out of the park.