For most, that would be an astute observation. In a past R, I did work hard to try to escape from home.
In this sitch, I was working hard so that I could become independent from working full time so that I could go to vet school and still pay my bills. Real estate investing was supposed to do that, but I lost heart when the bomb dropped and only have one rental now. My volunteer work for the dogs and cats is actually so that I have animal experience so I can get into vet school. All the work I was doing was so that I could get into vet school and follow my life long dream. My H encouraged me to go back to school, and I took him up on it full throttle.
Unfortunately, it was the beginning of the end for me. I'm an all or nothing type of gal, and I went into this veterinary project with all I had, leaving my H behind in the dust.
I no longer even care. I am going to finish getting my three degrees I am working on now-Biology, Chemistry and Physics-I'm only four classes away, and then I may or may not apply for vet school. After that, I may or may not apply to learn veterinary surgery. I get satisfaction from working with animals, I don't have to come up with the cure for cancer anymore. Maybe one day I'll write a book about what I know, but that's it.
I feel like I sound disheartened, but I'm not. I just finally realized that my H and M mean so much more to me than a stupid career. Hiking in the wilderness, taking off with our dogs at a minute's notice, going on adventures in other countries, having someone to share my life with, my trials and tribulations and what I've learned, my growth.
Until the bomb, we grew together. After, we have grown apart. I want that closeness back, I want a partner to share my soul with. That is so much more important to me than some silly job.
So, yes, I have gotten rid of many of my volunteer jobs. I have two left, and one will be gone soon, as soon as I do the books for 2003 and get the taxes done for them, they will have to find someone else to be the Treasurer for them. I was Director of Education for one organization, and gave that up. I sat on the board of several organizations, and now am only on two.
Pretty much, 2004 will be about phasing out that part of my life, cutting out clutter and simplifying. Getting back to being able to leave the house at the drop of a pin and take off for the weekend. Learning and growing, hopefully together.
