What should I be Doing (piecing 6)

[Coconut]

JimKao, thank you for posting. I wouldn't say this stage is more difficult, I can't imagine anything being more difficult than the first couple of weeks after bomb drop, but it definitely has its challenges.

I think the biggest challenge is realizing that your old W and R are gone forever, and knowing that your working on a new R with someone you already know can and will rip your heart out and stomp on it. My W may honestly not be willing to ever do that again, but it doesn't change the fact that I know she can and already did it. And even knowing that, still putting yourself out there.

Even though I'm happy in the right here right now, I'm still not 100% that we will last, I haven't had a single thought of us beyond 1 or 2 years from now. But I'm willing to keep working on us for now, while I continue working on me at the same time, and see where I am. I don't think I will take that look for at least 6 months though, because I know I at least want to give us a shot.

Georgia, her quitting the academy would probably be a deal breaker for our marriage. so at this point I need to decide to be ok with it or walk away, I'm not asking her to quit again, but that's not to say I am 100% ok with it either. But I can tell you that I will have strong boundaries about how much time I'm ok with her spending there socializing, or if I'll be ok with any socializing there.. I'll have to figure that out once she's out of the academy, and see how integrated I am into the station (there are a lot of family activities they do there, so I may become friends with many of them).


Today was our first MC, it went well, I really like the counselor. Today was pretty much just getting history, and I told W I'd like to give the history pertaining to my actions and she give the history of her part, and then we could both give additional info on the other we felt was pertinent. Worked out well that way and we each got to see how the other perceived their part. I told the counselor I'd like to tackle communication skills first and she agreed that would be a good place to start.

I've really been handling triggers extremely well, I haven't had too many, but when I do I've been able to process them and decide if it is something I need to discuss or ask. I haven't discussed or asked about any for a few days. I'm starting to feel like my old strong self again.