Did Not See It

[RDS]

I just got off the phone with my W. We talked for nearly an hour. We did not talk about our R. We didn’t even sniff the topic. It’s the first time we had any meaningful conversation since May 5 (and even that was small talk as she took me to the airport). I had her call me because I had some questions about our Care Credit card. I did not want to get into a texting conversation. I'm okay texting back and forth for a couple of times but then I want to talk. It's not just her, but everyone. I needed some answers about the credit card. I had never used it and I'm going in for some dental work tomorrow (my tooth is killing me as I type this) and I wanted to know how the whole thing works.

Anyway, I asked her to call me and she responded she would call me "in a few". This was about noon. I waited and waited as a few minutes turned into an hour, and then it was a few hours more. I didn't get mad (two months ago I would have). I knew she was working with her big boss and when her big boss is in town she gets very busy. I also knew my D had texted my W about something and my W didn’t answer back so I really knew she was occupied.

My wife called about 4:45 PM and I was on my other phone so when I answered I told her I would call her back. I called her back about 15 minutes later. It was a very pleasant conversation. As I said there was no talk about our R. I let her do all the talking about the Care Card, her job, and my D’s new dog. I kept trying to end the call (not very forcibly I will admit) but another topic would come up. It almost seemed like the calls we used to have when I was on the road years ago. At least it was like the old times except no ILY at the end. I didn’t even think of saying that to her because I knew that would be the kiss of death. We both had lots of genuine laughs during the call. I kept thinking to myself I was really interested in what she had to say but two months ago I would be looking at my watch or surfing the web while I talked to her because I would be bored. There would be no way I would have been able to stay on the phone for 10 minutes, let alone for nearly an hour.

Towards the end there was a few tidbits that came out about what I was doing around the house to make it more for “me”. I did mention how I converted our office back into an office and the breakfast nook back into a breakfast nook. She seemed a little envious, but I might be reading too much into that. She did seem a little ashamed when I told her I spent most of Father’s day cleaning the bathrooms. She said it must have taken a long time to clean the master bathroom. I somewhat downplayed it by saying it didn’t take that long and I caught myself from blurting out, “You should see it now.” I did not want to put her on the defensive.

Before I read the DR and read this forum I probably would have been a blithering idiot by trying to apologize, telling her I changed, telling her ILY, and anything else to convince her to give me one more change. Of course, without the DR or this forum I would have already done all those things weeks ago.

I know she ILYBNILWY, but at least she can still tolerate talking to me about things in her life. That’s a start IMO.