So sorry that you find yourself here JMO. What your H has said to you is textbook speak for walk away husbands (WAH). Mine said the exact same, though we haven't been married as long as you. I know how much you are hurting.
It sounds like you're doing a great job already having followed Micelle's advice.
With regards to the graduation party, I think it is a perfect GAL (getting a life) activity to show your H that you are not phased by his behaviour! Of course, I'm no expert, but I think you should plan it exactly the same as you would if he was still there. Your children need everything to carry on as normal as is possible under the circumstances.
