Chapter 2, She moved out - I win! I think

[bigybiz]

Sandi2 - once again you hit the nail on the head. Yes, I was relieved when she moved out. I really felt it was the only way I could properly detach and it was working. I was moving on. I do know she hated it. The kids and I were doing great. In fact the few times she saw S15 & S10 - they both almost saw it as an obligation. She had to think of things to do with them and be an active parent, not play on her computer or phone on her own and be a parent when she felt like it as she had done for months. BTW D20 really has no time for her, but she is ticked at me too - c'est la vie. S15 actually said to me that he doesn't miss her.


We were having parties, the house was running smooth, projects were still going ahead, etc.


As Sandi2 and her DB colleagues say she was probably experiencing the loss that she had implemented. She was resenting paying into a house she was not living in and/or enjoying. Of course she was going to say I pushed her out and never admit to missing me - don't believe anything she says right.


In Ontario she has the right to move back in.


So yesterday I told her that I understand she feels isolated and is missing the kids, her home etc. Then I told her that living under the same roof as separated is not a good idea for either of us to move on. For the next week or two if she wants to come over and visit a little more often that's OK - temporarily.


I plan on staying in this home and we would need to discuss buying each other out. If she wanted to move back in with a path towards reconciliation with counselling, videos, books, etc that would be fine. Otherwise we will scrape together the $ to get her a proper place and the kids can go back and forth in a formal shared custody arrangement.


When she left we had some fleeting talks about reconciliation (which we've done before - hopeful but not holding my breath).


She is coming for dinner tonight. I will be dark today and my hunch is so will she so I won't know anything until about 6pm.


How was that for boundaries, rules, etc?