good morning from sunny chicago, the Kelly family is loving it!!!
it is getting on as a hot summer over here, but that is why ice cream and swimming pools were invented, right
roiste, i have a question that of course you don't have to answer if you dont want to. you last bunch of posts talk about how much better things are getting with your interactions with your sons, with your wife, spending more quality time together, more meaningful communication with her, you are going out more, doing more for yourself, doing an utterly magnificent job looking deep in yourself to fix those cracks....by what metric are you looking at your relationship and at yourself to say your situation is not improving.
i get the lack of intimacy, if that is what is being referenced as the standard.
what is your ideal here that you are evaluating the whole thing? is it how things were 20 years ago or something else.
I have read countless situations where after this burst in the marriage (whether it be affair, apathy, mlc, whatever) it becomes a new marriage...you can't go back to the way it was. even many heavy hitter vets on this site never return to the way it was because that marriage is dead and you are building a new one from scratch.
I often wonder about you and I, are we disappointed because our expectations are too high for what we think our marriage should be? I remeber seeing a post from starsky, not too long before his final post that said that his sex starved marriage was something that never got resolved. there are others with that same outcome.
I don't have any real answers. if I did I'd be the one writing the book;)
I just get a sense that I keep looking back from time to time and holding onto something that is long gone and it is holding me back from moving forward faster.
is it because I don't want to accept that things will never be the same, that i may never have sex again, that special favors will never happen in the middle of the night again...maybe, maybe not right. focusing on those thoughts ARE holding me back. I needed to spend more time living for anf enjoying what i do have instead of dying for something i dont.
your wife is moving at her own speed, it may not seem like is working on her...but i will bet she sees your improvements and deveoplemt and will continue to follow your lead. keep it up.
Glad you posted today, I wasn't planning on posting either;)
