WAS or what 7

[roist]

Last week I spoke with a WH. He explained how he has not lived as a couple for years and they almost never do stuff together with kids. Always one or other. From what I gather they both have withdrawn from their M. He explained things so simply and eloquently that it was hard to fault his logique. I did fault it a little still! Maybe in his case but spouses are unconnected that they are both WAS. If there is no LBS it does seem that simple.But I know it is never that simple.

Anyway I mention him, not because of his situation.BuBut I wondered about how many WS think the same about their LBS here.Msybe being strong and not needy and everything else gives them the twisted logique that the lbs is OK and due to their mutual respect things will finish smoothly.

In my situation I wonder if "accepting"so little is being interpreted as being OK as things are. I will develop my thinking on this and share some info on our respective parents Ms. Hers live together but are not very together.Msybe that is an acceptable way to live and maybe W is willing to live that way for the sake of the children BUT I am not. I would have thought that my W would split rather than stay unhappy. I still believe that. But I am sure her parents didn't intentionally end up there either. I fear that more than separation.

I have seen some positive signs and some improvement in our R. All steps in the right direction. I know it is likely to be the last thing to happen but still no improvement in us as a couple. She is more invested in our family,our activities, our time but no affection. There is more closeness in terms of communication and even physical presence. Recently she has shown more initiative to what we do in the evenings when boys go to bed. She is more receptive to my initiatives. Maybe she realises I am not going to sit on a couch just to be with her especially if she is disconnected.Maybe a lot of things. Time will tell.

So far in the summer we have planned two long weekends away as a family.The first was my idea to meet a friend of mine. I was genuinely surprised how she went for this idea. Not that she did but more so how she did. Plus she is proactive at organising a week without the kids during the day so WE can work on projects in the house, including redoing our bedroom.

These things do not mean my situation is improving but still. Time will tell.

Yesterday I spoke to a woman. She is the mother of a WH. She hast fallen out with her son over his comportment and his neglect of his children. He has a young mistress! Her description of him was word perfect for many WH described here. But it was interesting to hear it from a mother.

I never mentioned my situation to either of these people though I know I could tell the guy if I wanted to. Only reason I haven't is that it is a small close nit community and I prefer not divulge private stuff . Maybe if we split I will but for now, hhere is where I share.

I hadn't even intended posting today!! Anyway thanks for reading. Best wishes