Almost 10 weeks since she said she didnt love me

[JksD]

You're d@mn straight it's a no-no; smiley face girl is mine. You can have tattooed guy.

I can always count on you for a giggle!

[Natus]

Natus, I wasn't being sarcastic, I was sincerely asking how you responded when she said something about MC.

Hi Sandhi, i actually didnt see your post. I blame lack of sleep and fasting meant no coffee.

It probably wasnt as bad as i made it sound. She leaned in and said if i wanted to we could go MC together, by this point we were both little teary eyed i held her hand and said ok, we dont have to rush it.

I know i know sound bad doesn't it. Just 48 hours ago she wanted to separate find her own place and then boom 180, we werent even having an R talk. it came out of the blue. My guess is she was thinking about it all day during work.

I did talk to her that night and apologised if i seemed flippant, i told her i was surprised and was tongue tied for a moment. She seemed understanding.

Anyhow fast forward to tonight we had an argument. She still seems quick to anger and twist everything i say and make it sound like im attacking her.

I had enough and left the house to vent then went played some pool at the local pool house. Coincidentally its the place i met her 12 years ago.

You're d@mn straight it's a no-no; smiley face girl is mine. You can have tattooed guy.

I saw her first!

[sandi2]

Okay, thanks.

[Coconut]

Natus, it has been awhile since I've been on your sitch, so I had to go back and read quite a few pages, but I will say doodler's fascination of your smiley face girl made for easy reading.

Anyway, I'm glad to hear about the pending NC with OM, and your W's wavering between separation and then MC, it shows that she doesn't know what she wants which means she hasn't confirmed she wants to separate. Anyway, I believe if you give her space (she's probably gonna have a tough time when NC goes into effect) while she settles in to her new reality, it will go a long way. It's going to be tough, but be the lighthouse, don't ask how/what she's feeling, just be a confident/steady person that she can use to lean on when/if she needs to talk. Her worlds gonna be rocking, if your rocking too, it will be too much for her.

I might suggest that you read my previous thread, it may help to see the feelings/questions that I struggled with when starting to piece. I still struggle with many of the questions, but I will say every day seems to be getting better (especially the last few mornings :), so as you struggle with if this is really what you want, I would urge you to at least wait awhile until you get to some of the good/fun times before deciding.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2681388&page=1

I would also suggest LIM's thread, as he is also piecing. I know your not there yet, but if your wife commits to working on R, things can start happening pretty fast. One of the common questions/concerns is "did I let her back to soon?", you may want to consider what you would need from her before you agree to work on R. It is pretty scary to be piecing and wonder if the WS really understood the effects of their actions and if they really, truly want to commit to the MR, or if they are just doing it because it's the right thing to do.

[Natus]

Hi Coconut. Thanks for the advise.

Funny you should mention not asking how/what she's feeling because this past week i have just sorta went numb. I dont care its her last week in office with OM, i dont even care if they talked in the office.

I feel like i have given up on the R. I really dont know what she can do to be honest to ease our way back into the R. Im actually dreading MC.

I find myself wanting to see whats out there, GAL and have fun. Was looking at motorcycles this morning, oogling the Harley Davidson Street 750 wondering if i can afford it. Thinking ill go Korea alone next month for a short vacay or maybe back to Phuket, i last went there w W and S5 right after BD. Shittiest holiday i ever had. I kinda want to go back without her.

Well baby steps i suppose. Going to go movies tomorrow night with friends. I usually go movies with W so this will be a change.

[sandi2]

I use to wake up in the mornings thinking that I would end contact with the OM and work on my MR. By noon, I would have changed my mind again. It was crazy.

[Natus]

Couple days since my last post.

Nothing much to report really, 1 more day shes in office before she moves job. Actually end of the week but we are taking son to get eyes checked tomorrow then there is a public holiday on thursday. So technically 1.5 more days she will be in office.

Apart from that i am alittle dissapointed i didnt even get a peep for fathers day.

Her birthdays coming up 29June and her last working day 25Jun and her new job date 27Jun. I understand gifts are not encouraged here but i kinda want to get her something. After all shes still here and asked for MC so i should show some positiveness right?

[JksD]

Maybe you could help your S get something for her and then tag along?

[sandi2]

I thought she was moving out of the home.

[DDJ]

Hey Natus, the only way to detach is to literally not care about what she does and where she goes. If she really cared, she'd actually have wished you happy fathers day.

As for the space that you're in... well the way i see it, you have obvious choices regarding your MR. You can throw your all into it and fight for it. But ask yourself, what are you fighting for?

If you're fighting for a good woman that you know will bring you happiness, then you fight.

If you give up on it, then know that what happens to us are all in God's plans, we just don't really understand it until we take a real step back and look at whats happening, who we've become and where we're going.

Figure out what you want in life. They say that just the idea of putting your foot out of the door, means that you're already out of the door.