Moving on

[Phoebe]

You know, I'm working on the exact same realization, Painter, and it really is a very difficult thing to process.

Like you, I've come to realize that my H is not a nice person that's taken the wrong path. At some point in our marriage he changed and was simply pretending to be a nice person. He has also showed no true signs of any remorse or regret. He told me did some online tests for narcissism and sociopathy. He also, of course, had to tell me that he didn't score high for either diagnosis, so he could deny that there was anything wrong with him.

The bottom line is that on some level he knew he should feel worse than he did, but he simply did not.

I was just talking about this with my therapist today, actually. It's a lot to arrive at, and I am also wondering who I was actually married to all those years. Was he ever the person he appeared to be, and if he changed, then when did it happen and how did I miss it? It's all very troubling.

I search back for red flags, and they are few and far between, and subtle even now. Everything I've learned has been after the fact, or hindsight.

All I know is that my thoughts on him are changing rapidly at this point. I think you are getting there, too.

(((((Painter)))))