Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo 2

[Phoebe]

Well, I just lost my whole post again. Bummerific!

I was just saying in a lot more words that my efforts to tap into my anger fell flat again. I guess I'm just not cut out to be an angry person, and I don't want to be one, anyway. If I miss out on some mobilization because I can't tap my white anger for any sustained period of time, then so be it.

Maybe it's because there's been complete NC for weeks now? I know I got angry with H last time I saw him, so maybe that's the real reason? Who knows.

Yesterday's journal post: (for some reason I couldn't log on the the site all day yesterday.)

It's been a good, though quiet, day. I made a cake for my dad for Fathers Day and had dinner with my parents to celebrate. I did a little bit of maintenance on my tractor, just checking oil and hydraulic fluids, coolant, cleaning radiator and a/c screen, etc. so that I can use it without worry again. Basically a pre-flight check.

My neighbor came over while I was hanging outside in my glider, and so we sat out and talked for a while. I've been sleeping pretty well, finally!!!

Today: I'm feeling pretty darn good today. I just saw my therapist and I didn't even come close to crying! Yeah.

It's a really hot day, so I may not do any walking with my neighbor. I already decided to skip my usual post-therapy hike. It's the kind of day when it's good to lay low indoors with air conditioning.