i am confused, which i not an easy thing for me. lol
thursday night she come over to talk. it went well. she gave me the im not "ready to commit speech. i wanna take things slow, lets get together with the kids for a few hours on saturday, but i dont want to spend the whole weekend together"
then she gives me $200, and says that ive been paying for a lot of stuff for the kids lately (sports)
i didnt ask for any money from her, and i didnt ask to spend any time with her on the weekend. (its my weekend with the kids)
so fast forward to friday the kids and i are out doing things and i get a text from her that she is having a small get together and that it would be cool if the kids and i came over. so a few hours later we go over and have a good time.
saturday, she comes hiking and swimming with us. it goes well. we drop her off at her house and tell her of our plans for the night and we leave. an hour later she text me and says, if you guys get done before 830pm. lets all go catch a movie together. so we do.
during that time, she gets a text from mutual friends of ours, inviting us all over for dinner on sunday (today) so the kids can all play together and the adults and do adult stuff. so she invites me and the kids to that with her.
so what the heck is going on? her words say one thing and her actions are completely 180 different. except that he demeanor is cautious around me. there is no loving physical contact. but there is some joking around physical contact. yesterday, i was sitting on a rock, and she come and sat down next to me for 10 min. we didnt touch, but we did talk and laugh. when we went to the movies, one of the kids sat between us. (this was no accident on her part)
so it leaves me to wonder....am i and the kids her boredom escape? is she using me to just to see the kids on her weekend off? or is she testing the waters with me? she has been getting just slightly closer and more comfortable around me over the last several weeks. but she is definitely keeping both physical a emotional distance from me.
which leads me to the next thing. ive been reading a lot about mid life crisis. and identity crisis. and she seems to have gone through all the stages and now into withdrawal. but i dont know if it was a true mlc .....it was some type of crisis. and if this is true, she seems to be at the point where she wants our marriage to work, but is afraid. she come out of her hole, walks towards me, gets ever so close, trips over a feeling and runs back to her hole for a few days. im doing my best to let her come to me. and not scare her away. let her see that im there as a great option. but not try to sell it to her like a used car salesman.
