Lost at the moment

[lfm]

Thanks for the wake up call Sandi!

You're absolutely correct, I was being overly optimistic at the moment that I posted that. I agree that we can't move forward with the marriage while the other man is involved. My wife has agreed to marriage counseling, but I don't know if it will do any good while the OM is in the picutre. Any advice on that? I'm not sure if that needs to end first or if there is anything that would come out of MC that would help.

And I apologize that I haven't done a better job of explaining the things I have been doing. I'm definitely not sitting on the sidelines just waiting for her to figure things out. I've been going to church weekly, working out 3-5 times per week (and am down over 20 pounds so far), going out with friends after work (although not as much yet as I probably should be), I shaved off a goatee that I had worn for the last 10 years and am making sure I am clean shaven every day. I've also started wearing cologne every day, which is something I have never really done. Because of the weight loss, I've started buying new clothes, and I've applied for a new job at work, so I most definitely am not just sitting back expecting this to end. I'm mentally trying to prepare myself to move on, and my W if making that easier with each day that she continues to engage the OM.

I've also been doing a lot of reading, so of it books that relate to my situation, such as MWD's books and No More Mr. Nice Guy, and some reading for fun. I'm trying to detach as much as possible, although I find it difficult sometimes living in the same residence. There's about six weeks left before the house we started building before this started is finished, which hopefully will give me a bit more "space" to be physically separate from her when we are home together.

Thanks again for the feedback, the wake-up call and support.