So this is one of the reasons I have such a strong mistrust of counselors....
By this time, husband and I were each seeing our marriage counselor for separate sessions.
For Father's Day, I had bought him gift certificates for a car wash. 1 or 2 weeks later after BD I was asking him if there was other woman. He started yelling about what a crappy gift car wash gift certificates were. I told him I was only part time and thought he would like them because he cares so much about his car. He said he will use them, but everyone he talked to said what a awful gift..I asked him who he talked to that would even think to criticize a gift? And he was reluctant to answer.
In the past, every gift i bought was always exchanged or returned so buying him gifts was always a struggle for me. He likes technology and I have very little understanding of it. Him and his mom had a set up where each of them would tell each other what they wanted and then buy it so no dissapointment, and I never did this because to me, it wasn't really a gift. Just buy it yourself.
Gift giving is the last thing on my LL list though.
Anyway...I had an appt with the marriage counselor and told her about how angry he was over the gift....SHE WAS THE ONE THAT HE TALKED TO ABOUT WHAT A CRAPPY GIFT IT WAS and AGREED WITH HIM!!!! she even talked to me about it, and then said something like "well I guess if he likes cars it wasn't that bad"
Anyway, she was agreeing and siding with both of us during these private sessions so we would keep going to her, but not really discussing the importance of working through a marriage or seeing things from different views. Totally different then my sessions of phone with DB coach.
Anyway, Father's Day brings back bad memories for me. Because he was coming up with excuses to be mad at me and to justify his leaving. Making it out like it was all my fault with these incidents was actually worse then him leaving. It is why I am so mad... It was some sort of MIND GAME and I cannot forgive him for that. Because I was so guilty and felt like I was just set up.
