Hey.....I am the queen of run on sentences.........and that's why I use so many.............of these................
Quote:
Sandi is the ww going through some difficulties as well or does the selfish nature override his? Or is it all channeled elsewhere .. Like to me? I always concern myself with me .. Not really realizing she is gong through some heavy sheot - dealing with it or not ..
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I don't remember reading from a newcomer LBH who guessed anywhere close to his WW's mindset, and he usually starts out giving her too much benefit of doubt. To answer your question, yes, she does go through her own difficulties. And yes, her selfishness overrides a lot of that pain when she's at her peak of rebellion. Her self-centerness is the motivation. Some women have a ton of anger that drives them, too. But the selfishness is the common denominator I have seen in every single thing I have read, observed and studied.
I believe there the level of waywardness, and the speed to its rebellious stage, varies with women and their particular situation.
Her unmet emotional needs, unmet expectations, disappointment in her H and M (or their lives together)......may have (or not) been expressed earlier in the M and he didn't get the message. Resentment and bitterness begins to grow in her heart and she feels more and more disrespect for her H. She may stay with him for years, or just months, before she finally does something in an act of rebellion against her H. She may try to cover all the negative feelings in some wild, uncharacteristic, or morally wrong behavior..........but she is definitely acting out of her emotions. Her feelings can change almost minute to minute b/c of the turmoil and confusion in her brain. I believe a lot of WW's can have periods their H's would think they were completely unstable.......and he could be right. At times, they seem to just flip out, leaving the H in a state of bewilderment.
Even if she appears to try and prove how happy she is with her new man, lifestyle, or whatever..........it is pseudo happiness. There is no contentment. She can't really be happy with all that anger inside of her. The WW has to go through facing consequences, owning responsibility for the wrong she's done, swallowing her pride, forgiving her H for everything in the past, and feeling remorse for the pain and hell she has caused with her terrible, wayward behavior. And let me tell you.........it is not easy and it sure isn't pleasant for her.
It isn't the same pain her H experiences, but she does hurt. If she didn't have some emotional pain, then I would suspect he was just seeing her true colors for the first time.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
