You offered both times. Question for you is that usual behavior? What would be the 180?
Originally Posted By: Surfer
I want to send her a message to let her know that I care but I think I will hold back. I did say 'be careful' as she went - she will perhaps get it from that?
Good choice! She doesn't care right now that you care. She did once, but today, no. That's the thing, you don't WANT her to "get it" or be reminded of it. Words right now mean nothing to her and will only serve to reinforce the ideas she has about M in her head.
And btw, I know them feels, man. Trying to go from "Nice Guy" to "Great Man" myself here, and it's hard to go against your own instincts. I find myself thinking, there's no way she's going to love me again if I don't do X. Something that helps me process is to think "has this helped the last 9 years of M?". I took out the garbage, did the cooking, helped around the house, took tons of care of the kids. Still ended up here. Gotta try something new.
Me: 34, W: 39 T: 10y, M: 8y D 4, D 6 2nd M for both BD: 4/22 status: separate beds, GAL, hopeful
