We can still be friends

[liono]

I hear you on the stubbornness and false pride. I consistently get the feeling that she thinks she has it all figured out, she is (in her mind) 100% sure of the path we need to follow. I'm just keeping the squirrel/picnic image in mind. I'm just going to keep my nice picnic down here going.

Sessions are happening every 2 weeks. Good suggestion not to talk about R. I know it would be really easy to slip here. Any R talk or backsliding into beta mode would be taken as "proof" she was right and I'm incapable of finding that inner strength.

Interesting you ask about the house... I'm curious why Yes, it's in her name only, and there's a big story behind it.

She was very worried about finances because her first D she was scared of XH and basically left behind everything. She expressed big fear that I was going to turn into a monster once she started telling me how she really felt, and wanted to protect her hard earned assets. We both work, pretty well off all things considered. So we split everything up as personal property, nothing fancy, just everybody gets to keep what they earned: what's in my accounts are mine, what's in your accounts are yours. Both our names were on the house but I insisted that it was important for the kids to have a consistent home. I agreed to take my name off.

This was all before finding DB, so what's done is done, can't change the past. Even now, not sure if this was the right thing or not. Obviously part of me kept thinking "this is the precursor to D, she's just trying to be nice about it". Who knows, maybe. Was this giving up my power and pre-admitting defeat, or was it showing strength by insisting our kids are taken care of? Don't know. But I do know that she calmed down after we settled that, and she made no attempts to try to squeeze any of what's in my sole accounts, which is pretty substantial.