Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[tkdmme]

this post is about me and how I have been.

Although im still processing through the pain and emotional trauma, im doing pretty good. I am taking some time off work which is abnormal for me but I needed it. I have a ful agenda of activities with the kids lined up. We are going swimming to day and later my boys are helping me with a neighbor car. I have a recording session in the morning but after that im taking the kids to Savannah for a day or two. Next week we are going to TN to visit my parents. So we have a lot going on.

The boys stayed with me last night and we just hung out and ate pizza. We also trashed the house lol. I will clean it up later.

My S8 told me yesterday that the STBX blames me for everything. He said don't worry that's just how girls are. He went on to tell me how a girl I his class blames him for everything too. He is hilarious at times and I think he makes things up to tell me. In his own way he is trying to make me feel better. Both of the boys say that the want to come home. It makes me so mad that they are having to live like this.

Anyway, im not going to dwell on it. Im just journaling.

[doodler]

My S8 told me yesterday that the STBX blames me for everything. He said don't worry that's just how girls are. He went on to tell me how a girl I his class blames him for everything too. He is hilarious at times and I think he makes things up to tell me. In his own way he is trying to make me feel better. Both of the boys say that the want to come home. It makes me so mad that they are having to live like this.

It's awesome that your son is trying to make you feel better. I really get upset too when I think about how the separation and pending divorce are impacting my sons. They're completely innocent, yet they share in the pain. That stinks.

Good for you for taking some time off and taking time with your children. Have fun!

[Sotto]

Hi TK, glad that you are managing to have some down time and well done for your honesty about the beers.

Truly though - you've highlighted concerns about your use of alcohol, so a few beers probably aren't a good plan. And have you got things underway about AA support? It's important to get that solidly in place I think.

As for your W - I think it is important to leave her be and let her travel on the path she needs to take. Yes, she may need to see a Dr or get some support - but if any of those suggestions come from you (when she's blaming you for stuff) they will be counter-productive. Much better to live your own life in a constructive and positive way - then I think she may come to see - aha - TK wasn't actually the main problem here.

Your W is at an age where MLC type issues could be present too...

Hope you enjoy your time off and glad to hear you have nice plans x

[tkdmme]

As always thanks for the advise.

I woke up feeling depressed to day for some reason. I cant believe how long it is taking for me to get over this. The financial stress is huge but is nothing compared to the emotional stress.

Sotto,
The MLC is dead on I think. Its so weird how it has taken hold of her. She seems to be drowning in it and I cant save her. A friend of mine was in a car accident the other day and it got me thinking. He is fine other than a few cuts and bruises but it reminded me of how fragile life is. It can be taken in a blink of an eye. So why would someone let something like a MLC take them down. I don't think she can even help the way she is acting. Its just so unbelievable.

Anyway, im off to a recording session this morning. As if life isn't stressful enough, I have to go in and record on someone else's record. Im sure I will do fine but it always makes me nervous. I sit in a glass booth with everyone staring at me. wish me luck.

Have a great day guys.

[tkdmme]

So I got some bad news from back home this morning. I know I posted a while back about my father being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He went through all of the treatment and was told that the cancer was gone. This morning my mother called and informed me that the cancer is now in his liver. The kids and I are going to see him this weekend for fathers day.

The past few years have been really tough and things don't seem to be getting any better.

Please pray for my family.

[doodler]

tkdmme,

I'm very sorry; I know it must be an extremely difficult time for you and your family.

There's a video that might interest you. Google "Randy Pausch the last lecture".

[tkdmme]

Thanks doodler.

I'm listening to it now.

[Sotto]

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad TK. It's good that you and your kids will get to spend some time with him and these will be some special memories to you. If it is of any interest, there is a book by David Servan-Schreiver - he died a few years ago having lived with cancer for many years. He set about managing the end of his life in the way he wanted to live and I have heard the book is quite inspiring. I haven't read it yet - though I've read other things of his that have been very good.

Take care TK, and my very best wishes to you and your family xxx

[SH_]

tk,

I am very sorry to hear about your father.
I can relate to your situation as my mother was given a clean bill of health from uterine cancer that she was diagnosed with last year a month after the BD for me. Only a month later she was diagnosed with breast cancer and has had 2 surgeries and starts further treatments shortly.
Timing is not good, but prayer has kept me grounded and with hope.
I will have you, your father and your family in my prayers this night.

I pray that you will have strength and hope at this time my friend.

[SH_]

How are you holding up tk?

You are in my prayers and I hope you are on a good path with forward progress.