Still here and need support 2

[Surfer]

Poschan

I used to have an awful time with WAW criticising to get a rise and then had raging. I learned to notice my emotions but not get involved. I used to do the same with hers. Listen to the words there are always golden nuggets of advice - you never listen etc. Listen for those things try validating but mostly listen take some mental notes and try and act on the advice. You will find it hard but if you think of it like a game it helps. It's the "I can control my emotions like a god game". You may actually find you amuse yourself when thinking "wow you really have lost it but I have seen this before and it's ok". It's a skill set you will carry with you in life if you can do it and it's really useful. Alternatively you can try to imagine whatever she is saying Is being said in the nicest possible way. It's quite hard to do but it does help.

Someone told me that it's all about not getting sucked into the emotions, notice yours and hers understand and accept them but don't get pulled in. It's the same as noticing a raging river you see it's fast flowing and dangerous but just because you see it from the river bank it doesn't mean you would be wise to go in there and get into serious danger.

You will get better, just consciously practice it. If you find she is winding you up, get away from her. You could try listening to mindfulness apps such as calm or headspace. They really help too.