My wife walked out 2

[RSG]

Well, a little bit of a breakthrough.

I didn't talk to WW yesterday from 7AM until 7PM. She texted about how S was doing, and I said just spoke to him and loved his haircut. She got upset and asked why I didn't consult her about a haircut first. My normal response would have been to say calm down, it's just a haircut! This would've blown her top. Instead, I thought about it and said yes I should have consulted. She was still angry, and I explained myself more fully by saying I apologized for not including her. She said it's ok, just please include me in the future. We talked more about him, his day, his behavior with my parents, etc. I thought that was the end of it.

This morning, she calls at 7AM and apologizes for being so angry but that it made her feel like she wasn't his parent. I validated and said now I know that this crosses the line from a mundane thing like "what color shorts should he wear" to something more important for her. She thanked me, talked about her day, noted my Father's Day gift would come in a week and again asked me what I'm doing this weekend.

Some of you are thinking DOORMAT! and I'll admit from the outside it may look this way. However, it's a complete 180 for me. 3 mos ago I would've said it's no big deal just calm down....and a huge argument would ensue. I stopped, looked at it from her point of view and validated her concern. And my W is not someone to throw around apologies. I know it's a baby step, and to her it was just a positive step in so-called "coparenting" but for me it was huge. I not only learned a new technique, but I used it and nothing but positivity came from it. Which means, it's definitely something I need to keep working on and make a habit of!

I started reading DR again last night from my new POV, and it's like an entirely different book. Instead of "saving my marriage" I'm reading it like I'm getting myself ready for my marriage again. I see myself entirely differently and want to change into ME 2.0

Stringing together these positive days has been great. I'm finally beginning to see what people have been talking about, what my journey is and what I want to improve on.