Hi Blu, good to see an update from you and sounds like you guys are busy!

As for things with your H, I can understand how you feel and it sounds as though you want to protect yourself from the rawness of your own feelings - not let him get to close and have to go through how you feel when that happens. That said, it almost sounds a little like a marriage of convenience (sorry I can't think of a better term) where your family unit is together (which is worth a lot) but there isn't a genuine, authentic connection between the two of you and I wonder whether this is what you want in the longer term?

Maybe if you don't want to talk about where you're at now, you could let him know how you truly feel about that (as you've told us) and agree a timescale when you will talk about it?

Just my thoughts anyway Blu...and I can truly understand how tough that must be and your desire to protect your own heart. I'm not sure that I could have got to the point you have. I'm more at the cut and run place right now....

Take care & I always value your postings and look out for them xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus