I am glad you are seeing a therapist and that you like him/her; you need and deserve the support right now!
I don't know why your H is doing this either. It must be incredibly frustrating to feel so left in the dark. In my sitch I knew all along that it was OW pursuing and infiltrating.
I imagine there is a lot you don't know. I don't think it's common for men to just pick up and do a 180 without OW there or fantasy of OW. I still think he may be having an A. Perhaps he really doesn't want you to know anything and is just running fast and the D will absolve some guilt in his mind. I have no idea. I just haven't read in your sitch that he has had doubts or given you any signs that he is second guessing his choices.
You are very supportive of him and forgiving. I am wondering if the anger surfaces or are you afraid? Because you have every right to be angry! It is also understandable to not want a friendship with someone that treats you this way! Sometimes that white anger and strength, can show H that you don't stand for this and he begins to respect you.
Him being soooo busy at work that he has no time to even talk. No, I am calling BS on that. I work full time, plenty of overtime, have 3 kids, and I still make time for what is important to me. That's just an excuse because he refuses to face you.
So I still reserve my position that you should let him go and sign the papers. And I think you should hold your head up high and know your worth when doing so. H needs to know now that you are not his plan B. You deserve better than this! Maybe down the line you two can reconcile, but right now, I don't think you want someone that thinks they can treat you this way do you?
I know my sitch is diff, but it wasn't until I let go of any hope, started moving on, and knowing my worth, that H started second guessing himself.
Take care. Things will get better one day. You just gotta get through this hard part.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
