Hi BluWave, thanks for your thoughtful response. Yesterday was the first time he even mentioned a D, so I am still in shock. Most of my frustration right now is that he is basing his decisions on the PAST. I don't want our M back the way it was either. I want to have an opportunity to move FORWARD. Yes, of course I have to take care of myself and my own life. I just can't wrap my brain around the idea that after over 15 years together I get an EMAIL... that he isn't even brave enough to talk to me in person? There is just so much room for miscommunication and misunderstanding right now with so little contact and so little in person contact. I feel I deserve and our M deserves better. And, I really have so little idea of what is really going on with him. Why didn't he tell me he was unhappy months ago? I know some of the things he is unhappy about... but I don't now specifically what is driving his current behavior and decisions. I guess what I am saying is what I would like more than anything is to UNDERSTAND. yes, it would likely hurt, but it's better than all this wondering and questioning going on in my head, which is making it very difficult for me to focus on my life and making my life better. there are too many questions right now for me to feel at peace with any of this. I will ponder more what you wrote. thankfully I see my therapist today. xxxxx hugs - how is your life going?
