I am not here to judge you or even hit you with a 2*4 at this point. It sounds like you understand what it means to DB and want to stay on that path. In terms of this other program, I really don't know anything about it, however I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. So you texted him, called him, asked him to spend time together, bought him a gift, offered him to live next door, and continue to show him love and support. That is how you feel and that is ok. However, as you can see, it is not attracting him back to you. So you can continue to put your heart on the line, but it will not bring him closer.
All of his words and actions are saying he is done and has been since the beginning. In fact there hasn't been anything in your sitch that has shown that he has expressed doubt. He has been clear all along that he is done and wants D. I know that is not what you want to hear and I know it hurts. I am sorry.
You say that you want to sit down and talk with him, but I just can't see how that would help you. I would think it would be painful for him to explain why he wants a D and he probably does not want to hurt you anymore than he already has. I think you may want that in the hopes that he can hear you out and perhaps change his mind.
I think it's time to let him go. Can you start picturing your life without him? Even just taking some first steps. Even if you refuse to sign the papers, I don't see how that will help you. In the long term, if you want this M to work, I think it's time to let him go now. Plenty of people find each other back together again over time. Right now though, he wants you to let him go.
I am sorry. -Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
