Separating to pieces (hopefully)

[mvgfwd2]

Good for you. Keep calm. Protect yourself. Maybe demand the same things in return. Negotiate from a strong position. This is all business now. Keep emotions out of it. That's why you have a L. She will use every dirty trick on earth to get the maximum out of you. Count on it. Document every little encounter and interaction between you and her, your kids and her, and you and your kids.

I was in the jury pool on a divorce case where the father went to pick up the kids on the scheduled date. The W halls him to court for assault, etc. when no such thing occurred. He was acquitted but the dirty tricks people and lawyers will do are astonishing just to wear you down.

[betterm]

Jb, I'm sorry to hear about the news... As you know, we're in the same boat (one day apart). I think Sandi's dead-on here. I've never been through a D, but I'd assume it's just negotiation tactics from here on out. I wish the best of luck to you, and I'll be thinking of you throughout the process...

[rich4j]

JB
Sorry to hear this won't be amicable. I hate that word!

Its just business now and I am sorry for that. If I can give any advice, it would be to say nothing in retaliation that will hurt you or her and just keep any communciation about the kids...no finances/divorce.

I made the mistake now on month 5 of trying to get a temporary agreement done but both sides got emotions in the way.

[e04355]

my W filed for D a year ago. i did what i had to do to respond.

today she hung a bag filled with containers of food on my appt. door knob with a note telling me to enjoy, with her nickname on it.

dont panic. there is still lots of time. time is your friend.

[Jb9140]

I appreciate the support. I the petitioner has know plans on turning back. Time is on my side, so I will continue DB'ing the best I know how.

[Jb9140]

Man I'm really not looking forward to my encounter this morning with the petitioner. This will be the first time we've seen or talked to each other since she's served me. She's dropping the kids off at 9:00. My plan, if she ask anything on this matter, is to say " I'm looking into my options. " I've already retained a lawyer and am getting every thing ready for my divorce. I'm going to do my best to continue DB'ing.

[Jb9140]

Well surprisingly she didn't say a word. Just dropped the kids off and had a smirk on her face. I've got my lawyer and will just wait out the 20 days before we respond. I really feel like we've gone over the edge and there's not much chance of coming back.

I feel like I can truly look in the mirror and say with confidence that up to this point and hopefully continuing on that I've done everything I could have humanly done to try and save my marriage.

I know that I've made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I truly have given it my best shot.

[betterm]

I know that I've made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I truly have given it my best shot.

It only ends when you want it to end. As many told me through the recent days, the D is just a legal paper that dissolves a marriage in it's current state. Sometimes people don't work things out before the D is finalized, but that doesn't mean it's over for good. Death is the only thing that can keep two people from reconciliation of a relationship, and in my recent sitch, I just view my W's physical shell as the corpse of the W she used to be to me anyways. So who knows why I'd want to re-marry a corpse, but self-reflection, growth, and decisions based on what's best for me is the only thing I'm going on from here on out. You know what you need to do. Hang in there.

[Jb9140]

Really at a loss today. My wife is officially dead too me. Don't want to get into specifics, but she basically put out there, to all our friends on social media, that if I had a gun I Would be capable of murdering her in a fit of rage. How she could say this is unbelievable and will not be validated. I've never been arrested, never been accused, never hit or threatened to hit a woman. She's been with me in same bed for ten years, has had two children with me. all of a sudden I'm this monster. My lawyer said that any judge would look real skeptical at her for these exact reasons. I'm realizing for the first time that she loves this attention. she loves playing the victim. it really makes me sick to my stomach.

[sandi2]

Be very careful. She may try to file some type of false charges. Stay as far away from her as possible.

So sorry this happened.