WAS or what 7

[roist]

TBH Z I still consider myself broken. I am not whole and I am not fixed. Those cracks are missing pieces. At the moment I have taped myself back together, whilst I work towards permanent healing. I am not being negative when I day that but fairly realistic.

That being said I am much better than before BD. I have taken responsibility for my own happiness, my R with boys and my life in general. I am aware of what changes need to follow. That clarity alone is worth tonnes. It means I can take specific actions instead of wallowing in not seeing why things are a problem. I could go on for ages but I am a better man than I was and I foresee greater improvements.

Amid everything that is off in our R, everyday there is something that is "on". Maybe I am s bit too closed/rigid but any time W is not receptive to my presence I either get busy or disappear. I have better ways to spend my time than with someone who doesn't want it. I am not cold about this but am fairly consistent.RResult is less poor quality time together plus W seems more active in suggesting stuff to do together! May only be TV series or jobs in garden but still.

I see a lot of potential but in essence my situation has not changed much in the last year and could remain stuck for years to come. Or it could fall into place or fall apart suddenly.Time will tell. For now I busy myself on my path, without losing sight of our path.