Alcoholic MLCer... WOW!!!!

[TabD]

I've been out of it. I lost track of reality. My D graduated high school should have been one of the happiest days of our lives. It was the straw that broke the camels back. That was a week ago Sunday. Then on Monday I tried to have myself admitted to psych ward here in my town. Buy since I wasnt a threat to myself or to anyone else they would not admit me. I have been put into an outpatient program! I have been diagnosed with an "adjustment disorder". I'm on meds and I start seeing a counselor this upcoming Monday. I went back to Al-anon this week and I have been reading quite a bit of literature from them as well. It has helped some. I am trying to take one day and make it about me. I do have to make sure I'm taking care of D that still lives with me at home.
I have been not responding to H text messages and if I do it is not immediately. Now I picked up some of his meds today (nice I know) but now I'm getting text messages about how he needs them and he can't believe I didn't bring them to him and how he is starting to resent me. Wow that one hurt. I just ignores them. I know or am most certain that H is drinking and lashing out at me. But words hurt.

I am trying. It's hard after almost 20yrs together where I did everything for him and picked up the pieces and made everything work out to not do that now is hard. It takes so much to NOT fix things or bend over and let him have what he wants. I would have said needs but nope I think it's more wants than needs. He is hurting and needs to blame someone. I'm that someone. He can't blame himself or accept the blame for his actions so blame me! Take it out on someone who has always taken it and never left.