New here. Here is my story.

[ShawnJ]

She texted me this morning asking "would you agree to no child support and no alimony?"

[LiM]

So the big question remains - how do I get her back?
That's the point of all this, right? Busting divorce?

Yes, the point is to prevent this from getting to D but you've got to STOP thinking about "how to get her back." There is NOTHING you can directly do to make her come back. You've got to get your attention off of her and put it on yourself. She has PLENTY of her own problems. She's an unmedicated Bipolar. And she's living with your EW? That's crazy. There is a possibly that no matter what you do, you will not be able to get her to come back because of of HER issues. All you have control over is YOU. Put your focus and attention there. Work on Shawn. How can you become the most amazing Shawn ever? Figure out what that is and what that looks like. Then make it happen. Build confidence in yourself. Let it ooze from your pores.
Drop her like yesterdays news. THAT is how you get her back.

[RSG]

Shawn, I have a 3+ year old. My wife will be gone 4 weeks on Father's day. I know exactly how you feel. I want my family back together too. I see you've been getting some 2x4s, I'll try to give you some softer advice.

You probably feel like crap, your world has ended and you don't understand anything that's going on. Been there. It's hell. You're 2mos in, you can't think of this as a chase. If you do, you'll never catch her. If you feel those emotions "Why don't you try?" "What will fix this?" you've GOT to keep it to yourself. All it will do is put you at square one and make her angry. Trust me.

You can't think "How can I save this" all the time. You'll drive yourself nuts and do/say crazy things that will drive her away very quickly. Get the Divorce Remedy book. Read it. Start doing things out of the house, take a step back and look at yourself. Do you like who you are? Are you different than the man you were 6mos ago? 1yr? 18mos? Those are the first things I'd say you should do.

You need to build your confidence before you do anything. And zip up when you want to scream at her for breaking up the family.

[qt4x11]

(note :my wife lives with my ex-wife. They are best friends. I was the one who introduced them).

Oy vey that's a crazy situation. Stay strong brother.

[qt4x11]

She texted me this morning asking "would you agree to no child support and no alimony?"

If things don't work out, this is actually a very good offer. Of course, try to DB the MR first.

[ShawnJ]

Picking up The Divorce Remedy tomorrow. I put a hold on it at the closest library that had it.
Yeah, these past three months have been a complete roller coaster. It's pretty obvious she has moved on (or at least thinks she has). It really killed me when she told me she doesn't love me and she doesn't miss me and that I need to accept things because I'm in denial.
All I know is...she didn't seem to feel that way two weeks ago. And who knows how she will feel next week!
I have taken up hiking. I love just getting out in nature and walking for miles. Helps clear my head.
Should I be not speaking to her right now about anything but our son? Will that drive her further away?
Basically, how should our interactions go?

[ShawnJ]

I feel your pain, man. Thanks for understand. Looks like we are pretty much in the same boat.
How are you coping?
Nights are really rough for me. My anxiety goes through the roof.

[RSG]

I feel your pain, man. Thanks for understand. Looks like we are pretty much in the same boat.
How are you coping?
Nights are really rough for me. My anxiety goes through the roof.

Everyone's story of how we got here is different. Once things start, it seems women act exactly the same. To paraphrase one of my favorite characters in film, "She's just like the rest of them. Like a union."

Coping? I'm doing ok. I've started going out some nights and weekends. Doing things for me, taking my mind off of her and working on me. Number 1? Enjoying every second with my son, and trying to be an amazing Daddy. Some days, some moments are hard. The thing that keeps kicking my butt into gear is the face of my smiling son. He deserves a happy, fun Daddy and that's what I intend to be.

It's really been the last couple days, but I'm starting to realize I don't like the person I had become over the last 6-8mos. And if I didn't like me, surely W didn't. I'm just working on me, finding the real me and trying to add some things to that.

My son is my inspiration. That's what kept me from being down in the dumps too long. And I've gone from working to "get her back" to working to make her want me back. It's tough man. You'll have moments you hang your head, get choked up in public, etc. Feel it and move on. It's your only chance!

[ShawnJ]

She keeps texting me asking how my job hunt is going etc.
It's been rough down here as far as the job market goes. I'm also a local musician but I'm lucky if I can get booked 3 times a month and that's not enough to live on so I'm trying to get a full-time job. Been at it for two months with no luck.
I have my son tomorrow night until after lunch on Saturday so at least I have something to look forward to and I can spend time with him and make sure he has a good time.

[RSG]

The job market is tough out there, good luck to you! Keep pounding the pavement as much as you can.
If you must answer her text, just say I have a few things on the horizon. Something short, sweet and vague.

Enjoy that time with your boy! Look at his face. Make him laugh. Have fun. Then when he's gone, open up the book and go. That's my advice....