So I think I shared the Temp Check STBX pulled a couple weeks ago, 8 days after that I receive an email from the mediator that she is wanting to schedule a date again ... its numb to me at this point, I will go ahead with the D just to move on as I am wanting to buy a place rather than continue tossing rent money out the window since its so affordable out here in Cali
Just a few things, she was TM a bit concerning money, seems that is about the only contact I will get and seems to me its not required as if she would check her account she could answer the questions she had. Again ... no replies or short ones from me. S shared that STBX bought a basketball after he shared he enjoys playing football and baseball with me (I have noticed a good deal of 'Parent Competition' as of late), so they go to a court and play Horse ... game was quickly called when S informed STBX of the score "Mom I am a Ho and you are a HOR" .... that word is a trigger for her as I dropped it early on in the sitch, so she snapped at him and home they went.
As far as me, been busy. July will be rough. I picked up an extra DJ gig every other Thursday. I am going back home for the 4th of July for a week. Get back and work a week then off to China the 16-25th. I'll need another vacation when I get back!
My anniversary is either tomorrow or Friday ... I never could recall. Last night riding home from the girl I have been seeing I was hit with a good deal of remorse. Granted I know I have done all I can to this point ... its still sad that 26 years ended this way. I realized I am still in love with who she used to be, definitely not who she is at the moment .. but that girl I married and spent all that time with I dearly miss. It has been a bit since those feelings have blindsided me but again, part of the process/cycle. The girl I am seeing ... I enjoy the time, its better than being alone but I am starting to realize I am not ready to give freely yet, not sure if I ever will TBH, in time maybe but just something I have to be honest with myself about. She has recently called me on it, I have been honest with her but things may end just for the fact I am not fully healed just yet .... this wound may in fact be one that never does heal and I will have to just accept that as part of it.
