We can still be friends

[liono]

Last night wife was at a hotel in the next town over for a business conference so I was just having fun with kids. Text from W:
"Missing the girls, tell them I love them"
Me: "They're' still awake, want to talk w them?"
W: "At restaurant still"
Me: "Oh ok"
(sent a pic of girls getting ready for bed)
W: "Aww. Love them to pieces"
then she told me a bit more about the restaurant and I replied "Cool".

I feel so wet noodly saying this, but those little "I love them" with no comment for me are like little bee stings. I mean duh, if I look at the overall situation I have no expectation of an ILY, but still, it stings. But getting it out here is what you all are for

On that point it is very easy to go overboard and crack the whip

roist: totally hear you on that. I think I was struggling with that a lot last week. Trying to find that right balance, and going too far on one side. At the same time maybe starting to creep into ATLRT when it's (thankfully) not quite time for that. In trying to achieve cool calm confidence, swung too far into "ignore the W completely" land. She told me she noticed me getting "resentful". I explained that, just as she is, I also am struggling with processing all the emotions, and sometimes I need to walk out of the room, or go to bed early, for me. Not because I resent or hate her, but just because it's what I need for my own mental clarity.

I dunno, seemed like an OK thing to say.