I don't have much to offer you, but wanted to let you know I am sorry you are still hurting. The longer we struggle/stand the lbs seems to raise the bar on what is required to R again. The more we go through the more we decide that that is not acceptable. We deserve more. You know that.
I have not yet experienced separation (in house or otherwise) but I imagine that when/if that happens, I will mourn briefly and then expand fully towards a life without W. Again this is just how I think I would react, but who knows really.
I am curious to understand why you don't seem to be fully able to move on yet you say you don't think you want to reconcile. This is for me to understand and not a reflection on you.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Hi Pink , Sotto and Roist, thanks for checking in. Life goes on. I'm doing ok D15 is doing exams , S17 is on school holidays and D12 is finishing in a few weeks
We've being greeting on with life and myself and boys were at a stunt show in sat which was really good. Nothing really to report , I'm NC with W even though she has tricked me in to speaking on the phone on one occasion. I'm feeling detached and accepting. I wouldn't say I'm over it all but generally it's good.
I have a date in Saturday and I'm looking forward to that , it's a lady I meet and she couldn't help but surcome to my charm ( you know , the usual story )
It's more an evening out for me more than anything else
I have an appointment with. D lawyer to start the paperwork but while I have the basics done I can't file for a few months as courts are on holiday until sept He tells me I have a cast iron case for custody , maintenance and the lion share of the house. The way WW left and her subsequent actions re maintenance and taking money from the family and working without paying tax means she has placed herselff very precariously legally
Roist. Thanks for the question and it boils down to this , I have 3' trusted advisors , IC and two family members , all three are feeling me to be patiant and she how this works out. I'm not sure of how much of my story you've read but WW has OM but is still denying romantic R after two years. She is now on anti Ds , is losing her hair and financially is struggling big time. She sees her children for about 15 hours a week and appears extremely sad most of the time. I have had very little spew and no history re writing , in fact she often stress how the M was good and she doesn't know what she's doing and is making a huge mistake with her life OM is bi polar and an drunk and it WW on words , doesn't give a crap about her
I know a lot of people in this board would love to have a WAS with regrets and no history re writing and apparently in a worse sitch than themselves but in a way I would find it easier to have WW say she was happy with OM and she felt she made the right choice because it would allow me have a bit of anger
Anyway I have to head out to see a customer so thanks again
Hi RD, just stopping by for a bit of support. I think starting the paperwork but not being able to follow through immediately might be a good thing. It will give you time to process this final step, time for W to do what she's going to do about it, if anything. It might be hard to wait, but you've been at this a long time anyway. Hang in there.
Thanks Sunny. I must pop over to your thread and see how your doing
I haven't updated it lately, there are lots of complications. But I've recently added a couple of key people to my support team, I'm getting lots of good advice.
