Some days are better than others

[EDF]

Journaling. Last night was our big argument/discussion, with the crocodile tears from WW etc; the first time since BD she has actually cried. Today she was civil, but distant. I did pretty good at staying detached but upbeat.

Got home from work, and then went to meetup with a new group of runners for a long run that ended at a pub. Did ok socializing; I was the only new person but managed to participate in some of the conversations. During the run also chatted with a slightly older gentleman who ended up being divorced after mutual affairs played out. Was nice to have someone flesh and blood to talk to about the sitch, in broad strokes at least. Made myself stay through the whole pub portion even though I was out of my element.

WW informed me she still wants to drive separately to the event (12hr round trip). I told her she's welcome to do whatever she needs to. Stings, but whatever. Her loss since I would have been the one driving her the 12 hrs otherwise... now that's on her.

I still hope she is able to stay civil during the weekend itself. I have no expectations about her behavior, but if she tries to spew to other people about me, I would feel compelled to stand up for myself and that would probably involve telling the truth, so I hope she doesn't make me go there.

I'm debating whether it's worth the potential confrontation to tell her my boundary ahead of time, that I want to keep things civil but if she talks [censored] about me or tries to blame me for everything, I will defend myself with the truth.

I think something along those lines may be what I use to try and cut her off if she starts whining to other people about how horrible I was for "starting" the fight... "WW, the only way I can defend myself is by telling the full truth, so you might want to stop spewing."