I always follow your posts and I too believe that you dodged a bullet. You have a gift of beautiful children and self growth and now it's time to move forward and away from something so unhealthy. Sounds like you are doing great at that.
I went to a different beach every day this weekend with my son. The waves were actually rougher then usual for the N. Shore and warmer then usual for this time of year. South shore was freezing though, but kids never care... I did think of you though.
I remembered trying to surf when I was younger. . my friend brought me out to the second set of waves and then she got called back in by the life guard because she had a boogie board without wearing flippers I think? Anyway she told me she would find someone to borrow a pair from and would be right back and she never came back! I had no idea what to do. I just stayed out there waiting for her and literally crying and then eventually just braved it back.
I never tried again, but now would like to. Are you going again?
I really want to try again this summer, but money is a real concern and I only feel comfortable doing it with an instructor. If I do I will only go with someone who is skilled enough and patient enough to guide me through it.
The waves and wind were more than usual this weekend. I know we live in the same unique part of the world, and I am guessing you live near where I grew up (I'm in the other county now, still north shore but it just isn't the same). You and I really should figure out a way to meet up since we are local.
I have been walking to the beach daily for the past few months here. And I was back in the old neighborhood this past weekend. I walked down to the harbor sort of doing a nostalgia walk. Reconciling where I was last year and where I am now. That town will always be home. But now I am discovering my new home. I've lived in this town for over a decade but I never really got to know it or tried to make it home. Discovering it for the first time for my own sake--not for scoping out things to do with the kids, or daydreaming about outings with my H that never happened, I am learning to appreciate it. Although I am counting down the years before I can move back home. Not only for my sanity, but also because it is so much cheaper. I am only an hour away, but still get homesick. I'm a baby like that .
My sister is living on the south shore of my current county of residence. Much nicer beaches. I think I will spend a lot of time there this summer since I hope to be working so driving out to my hometown midweek won't be as easy to do. They have a surf camp and a bunch of beach movies and live music events I hope to take advantage of, along with the ones near me.
Last summer was about rehabilitation. Unemployed, "homeless", abandoned. All of my responsibilities were stripped away from me and I had a retreat while I licked my wounds. This summer is about rebuilding. Responsibilities will be a focus and it is good. I am happy that I have fond memories of the worst summer of my life. I am happy that I know that a summer of "leisure" was only possible because it was wrapped in disaster. Made me appreciate the work that comes with life. I love every day that I earn money, after being unemployed for 6 months. And I love caring for my home, now that I don't have any negative energy around my efforts, and it is my own space.
This summer I will find the balance.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
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