Did Not See It

[RDS]

Today I had my first appointment with my therapist. She did seem surprised I still wanted to stay married to my W after I gave her the history of my marriage over the last 8-9 years.

She did tell me that I was not in the state of mind to even think of my marriage. I had to think of myself first as far as improving myself to where in a few months I would begin to really think clearly. She thinks I'm still holding out for what the marriage was 9 years ago and not what it is now. I know she has a point. She did suggest a certain book to help me get back to what the “me” used to be. I kind of figured it will be a GAL guide book.

I still have had very little contact with the W. Very professional and no conversation of our life at all when there is contact. No matter how little our contact whenever I get a text from her I feel a lot better. I’m sure since there hasn’t been any talk of our R then there isn’t any “bad” news.

She still hasn’t seen my D since before my W walked out. I’m afraid my W is burning her bridges with my D and that does break my heart.