"Being there to help v going dark:balance".......is a problem many LBH's are facing. In fact, finding balance in anything seems to be very difficult.
Were you completely blindsided when your W took the kids and left? Unless I missed it, I didn't see the reason for her up and walking away. Has she given one?
Has she had to suffer any kind of bad treatment that would merit breaking up the M?
We need more information about your marital history. Which of you were the one who was more in charge of things? Let me rephrase that question and ask you which one wore the pants in the relationship?
How would you describe your W? Is she bossy, shy, petted, sad, outgoing, withdrawn, critical, forgiving, softly spoken, raises her voice often, cowed down, gracious, a bully, sweet, sarcastic, etc.
Which one is the pleaser? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells, anticipating her mood swings, jumping when she says frog, and avoiding any type or confrontation? Or, would you have to say your wife is the one to fit this description, instead of you?
When you titled this thread, what type of being there to "help" did you have in mind?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
