The begining of the rest of my new life? (3)

[Ripe]

SH really means still here. Thank you.
I don't know where to start.
So many things are happening in such a short time.
Thursday was my day with the kids, but I agreed to allow them to go with STBXW to a friend's birthday.
I asked for the following Monday (yesterday), since the kids wouldn't have school. Things started to heat and STBXW said from now on we should stick to the days we have established. I said the kids would then stay with me. STBXW started raising her voice in front of the kids. We split.
Friday I was in such panic that I asked my IC for a session. I am thinking about trying to stay in this foreign country just not to be apart from the kids.
I then went for a weekend abroad, since I could not stay alone the whole weekend. It was a great weekend, I visited new places and met new people.
On Monday I realized I feel relieved. Knowing that my M is really over puts an end to my DB efforts and allows me to move on. Finally!
Today STBXW asked to meet to talk about the kids.
She said we cannot go to the courts to discuss our kids' future; that we need to find a solution ourselves; and that if we don't find it she is willing to let the kids go back with me just so that we don't put the decision in a stranger's hands.
Just half an hour ago she called me and asked me to pay for the skype session she has with her IC. She does not have homebanking so I have been doing the payments. I refused and told her I had already told her twice she had to take care of it.
I now have the urge to call her and tell her I will take care of the payment. I had never confronted her like that.
This is nuts.
Why do I feel relieved knowing that I have a new life waiting for me since my marriage is dead and still feel guilt for not doing as she asked me?