Ciluzen I cannot even begin to describe how I feel about my own "so called" friends. When H and I met he got to know my friends and later worked with two of them at a restaurant. I have never been jealous or insecure, and I never felt like I had to worry about my friends and H's relationship / friendship. Over the last few months H has "innocently" brought up things that he couldn't (and shouldn't) have known, but it didn't register with me at the time that something was wrong. Until one day he said something about a flirt of mine ages before we met that only very close friends of mine knew about. And then the penny dropped: somebody close to me has been telling him stuff that about my past that had nothing to do with him, and god knows what else! He has mentioned some more things since then, even secrets about my feelings and frustrations within my relationship with H! Who needs enemies when you have friends like this?
I am not blaming what is happening with H and I to those secrets, but could they have played a part? When H and started dating we agreed we would not talk about our past but clearly the rules changed and he didn't think to mention it to me. Worse part is, I don't know who it is that betrayed me. When I go back home for the summer I will try to find out who it was, however if that fails I will simply have to let go of those toxic friendships.
I am so sorry you have been betrayed, it is so lonely and horrible to be attacked in so many fronts.
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
